And of course, to do it in any normal, stable manner would just be out of the question. No, I wanted columns and go-gahs, but to buy all that trim and put it together like normal people have done for decades? No, not me.
I went to the Covington Reuse Center (the place we got all of our closet doors) and bought some weird exterior foam trim stuff that I'd been eyeing for months. I know that the original purpose of this stuff is that you somehow slap it on the outside of one of these new "I can build you a new home in 7 days or less" monstrosities and it's supposed to look all castle-y.
This is either going to be very cool, or really really stupid. I'm taking pictures. I'm just hoping I didn't waste $100.
Time... and bondo... will tell.